Nemsi´s Chaotic Times|
[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Sunday, October 19th, 2014|
|And my wallet cried out no money left^^
Hello my dear friends.
I am so excited about an item, that arrived in the mail yesterday.
But first a little piece of information about me. I am not only a filker and a big Sci-Fi and Fantasy fan,
i am also a collector.
Other the years i collected many things.
At first it was regular Star Wars Action Figures. Then i lost interest in them
The last 3 years i was collecting Transformers from Japan and Masters of the universe action-figures.
Now i discouvered a collectors line from China from a manufacturer called Hot Toys.
They produce high quality Figures from several movie-franchises. They use real clot, faux leather and real metal parts for
the costumes, the heads of the figures have a very high resemblence to the real actor.
The figures are very articulated with around 30 points of articulation and they are in the 1/6 scale around 30 to 34 cm high.
But these figures are not cheap.
So at first i was divided if i really should order such a figur, but after 2-4 months of thinking it over i did :-)
Ant today arrived my Hot Toys Iron Man Mark 42 Die Cast and it looks great. I am blown away by the level of Detail.
It has several pairs of hands for diffrent poses, battle damaged parts to swap out on the armor, its base has a light up function and
there are also lights for the eyes, the chest and the hands and a head with a sculped of Robert Downey Jr under the removable mask.
I fear it will not be the last of theses kind of figures.
I guess i will stop collecting my other lines, so i have money available for these.
Since i dont have a camera to take pictures, i hope it is ok to post a link to a little review from other people:http://www.gundammodelkits.com/hottoys-iron-man-mark-42-review-by-hacchaka.html
I hope that wasn't to boring but i wanted to share my excitment about this figure^^.
I hope you all have a good start in the new week
Nemsi Current Mood: geeky
|Wednesday, October 8th, 2014|
|Back from the Void
Hello my Friends.
It has been a very long time, since my last posting here. I had forgotten, that i even had a livejournal. But like all good or bad things, they allways have a way to come back :-).
I don't even know, if anyone still has me on the friendlist, but here i am, back from the Void.
I was at filkcontinental this weekend, and i was realy happy, that i was there (even though, that at first i didnt want to go).
There are not many places where i can be myself, and don't have to pretend i am something i am not.
The last few years havent been easy for my. I had a bad case of depression (because of work and other things) but after six months of sickleave with rehab and 4 years of taking anti-depression medication (of which i am off now for a year, a little success for me) i can function a little bit more normal again.
The medication and rehab helped with the depression but they aren't totaly gone. I still have downs (but don't we all ^^) and i have develloped a panic disorder (which my docs say, will never go away and i will have to live with, gee thanks doc) but the panic attacks don't come as often as they used to. At least i know for myself, what triggers them most of the time (times of stress, when it is to loud or to hecktick (that ain't an english word, damn :-( ).
So if you see me standing in a corner, with an expression of fear, or a vaicant stare and i am shaking a lot (like at breakfast at Filkcontinental on Saturday) i had or am having a panic attack. It was so nice of you to ask, if you can help me. But the problem is, most of the time i dont know how one can help me at that moment. I try to breath or get some fresh air and to come down again, which depending of the severity of the attack can take some time.
But back to beeing myself at filkcontinental. It is so great to be together with people who share some of my interests and with who i can talk about thinks like 80s cartoon and TV-Shows, or tell me another place where i can sit with 4 people and sing cartoon intro-songs without been looked at as being crazy (that was one of my best mornings this year, thank you all, i love you for that :-) ).
When i am with you, i don't have to hold back the things i love to talk about, because at least some of you know what i am talking about and understand me hehe.
And thank you dear, lovely filkers that you encourage me to sing (even if i myself don't believe that i am good at it, but that is part of the panic-depression thingy). I only had the courage to sing on the last day, and only for 2 songs (and even that was very hard for me, i was shaking afterword with a small attack), but you have liked it, and that makes all better.
And for next years filkcontinental ( for witch i dont have any excuses not to come, i won the membership (you are so devious^^)), i will try to learn to play one song on the guitar.
Yes i know what some of you are thinking, didn't he already play one song on the guitar a few years ago?
Yeah, that is right. That was before the depressions and panic-disorder.
Depressions have that nasty little effect, that you loose interest in all the things, that you loved to do. I stopped learning to play the guitar, i stopped singing for others, stopped dungeonmastering and retreatet into myself.
Then i had rehab, and during that i promised myself, it the rehab was sucessfull i would reward myself with a new guitar and would try to learn playing it again.
That was almost 4 years ago, but like i said earlier good things come back, and i remembered that promise a few months ago and i plan to fullfill it.
I already exchanged adresses with Eva and Rapheal and when we find a day to meet, the want to help me find a new guitar (since they are really great people and know a lot about music and instrument, i believe i am in very good hands there. Thanks in advance friends :-) ).
That is all from me for now ( i hope i made at least some king of sense).
I hope to post some more from me from time to time and i hope that there are still friends who read this :-)
Thanks for beeing there and for beeing so great and lovely people. With you i don't feel so alone.
Take care and read you next time
Nemsi / Thorsten
|Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007|
|Agent N reporting about Filkcontinental
Hallo my friends.
After having some time to relax from this years Filkcontinental i will wright a little con-report of my own.
After weeks of being nervous and some car-troubles one day before the con i finally was again at the Filkcontinental. I arrived pretty early, so that Anke (Agent A) and i could do another rehearsal and hat a lot of time to settle in.
All of the spot were great but i was really tired and more than once i nearly fell to sleep and my mind was somewhere else. I was still thinking about my Spot on sunday.
But All of you keeped talking to me and giving my support. I love you all for that.
Saturday was as great as the day before with the great Song-Contest (please do such a thing again) and the fantastic Heather Dale and Dandelion Wine.
i couldn´t get enough of the Filkcircle this night, so i miss Breakfast on Sunday.
This was the day, that i had feared since march this year. It was the day of my Spot with Anke as The F.I.B.. i still was a little bit nervous but the con had helped. It was my first Spot at Filkcontinental for 30 Minutes. I think our intro was a premiere for Filkcontinental since we did a Rap-song (a filked version of Will Smiths "Men in Black"). And the audience did really like it. Our other 4 songs were also coming allong nicely. And them came the song i was dreading most. It was a song called "Lightsailor" by Barry Childs-Helton. It was a song that Anke really wanted to do since its one of her favorites. so far so good. But she also hat the idea that i should play it . It was my first time playing a song on the guitar in front of an audience, and this was the only part of the spot that did make me realy nervous. But it seamed to have worked, because you did like it. Even though some tunes sounded a little bit strange for me.
After that was over everything was fine and i had a wonderful last Sunday at Filkcontinental.
was the usual saying good byes to every one. I hope to see all of you again next year.
Now i go back to my boring live, thinking about all of you, when i once again starting to think that i am good for nothing, or that no one needs me or would miss me.
Thinking about you does help me there a little.
So good bye for now, till next time
Agent N out Current Mood: sleepy
|Saturday, February 3rd, 2007|
|I've got that Nostagic Feeling
Hello my friends.
A new year has begun and it is already a month old. Let's see what this year will bring.
I still hope that this year, i will finally learn how to play guitar and maybe write a song of my own (not that this will happen in the near future)and i really looking forward to this years Filkcontinental (Anke, i haven't forgotten you)and maybe my first Filky Days.
But as the years go by i am getting more and more nostalgic and i am thinking more and more about my childhood. Isn't it funny, when you are a child you can't grow up fast enough. You want to be out of school, get to drive a car and get a job (which everyone tells you is great, but going to work every day isn't really that great). And now that you are all grown up, you wish that you where back in the good old days, and you are trying to revive some of those moments.
I, for myself, are having these feelings more often. I Remember a time before i even have heard of Star Wars, Star Trek and all the other TV-Series that came after them.
I remember my very first Science Fiction Series Captain Future (which started my long path that lead me to you wonderful people)and if they would make a good DVD-Edition i would definitely buy it.
While other kids of my age where listening to audioplays (english for Hoerspiele???) like Bibi Blocksberg or Benjamin Bluemschen i was listening to a audioplay series on tape called Jan Tenner (does anyone remember those). It was a mixture of action, science fiction and a little bit of horror which made it to i think 46 Episodes on Tape (and they had some of the same writers as the Perry Rhodan novels).
They tried to revive the series in 2000 with now episodes and a new voice actors for all the characters but it wasn't the same thing. For years i wanted to have my old Jan Tenner tapes on CD and now i finally get that chance. They are released again, this time on CD as Jan Tenner Classics.
Of course i directly ordered the first five CDs. :-)
Sometimes a find myself in the toys section of a shop and thinking about buying some Legos again (especially the Star Wars or Batman legos, these just look so cute)but then i say to myself, "No, you can't buy this. What would the others think.".
There are others toys that i would really like to get my hands on. I always was a fan of the Transformers Toy-Series. But here in Germany (at least where i life) it is nearly impossible to find them. I searched for shops on the internet from germany, but again no results (ebay germany hasn't much either). So if anyone of you knows some good shops where i could get some Transformers, please tell me. :-)
So that is all from me for today (i hope it wasn't to boring).
Best wishes to all of you
Nemesis Current Mood: nostalgic
|Sunday, December 24th, 2006|
Merry Christmas to all of you and hopefully a happy and better new year.
(i would have liked to add a picture, but i don`t know how) Current Mood: relaxed
|Sunday, November 12th, 2006|
|A week to forget
this was a terrible week, and all because of my job (i work at a health-insurance company (Krankenversicherung
Monday i had been told that a costumer had filed a complaint against me. He wrote that i had been rude and
that he thought that i didn't care what he wanted.
but i remember that one. I wasn't rude with him or anything like that. I answered all his questions within my
expertise told him how everything his done. And that there are things that i don`t have influence on, like the
speed of our doctors to make there diagnostic (Gutachten). I really gave him all the advice i could give.
And now he filled a complaint against me because i didn't said what he wanted to hear.
It wouldn't be a problem if he just send that complain to my direct superior. But no, he also send the
complaint to our main regional office and to our Main Office.
So i don't know what will happen next, probably nothing but i am always a bit pessimistic.
But since that incident i am totally blocked inside my head. Every time someone calls at the office i don't know
if i give them the right advice, if i tell them the things they would like to here.
The final breaking point was this thursday (Donnerstag?). I had one case in which i got 6 telephone calls, all
for the same case. All asking how far work with the case is. If it will be approved or not. 6 Call within 2 hours.
This was to much for me. i had to leave the room for a short while because i was beginning to cry. And i didn't
I felt so empty at that moment.
I hope the next week will be better.
And i hope that i will get a better mood soon.
So hopefully i didn't depress you too much
It helped me a little.
Nemesis Current Mood: depressed
|Sunday, October 22nd, 2006|
I knew it.
According to this test i belong to my three most favorite TV-Crews. Firefly, Babylon 5 and the X-Files :-)
| You scored as Serenity (Firefly). |
You like to live your own way and donâ��t enjoy when anyone but a friend tries to tell you should do different. Now if only the Reavers would quit trying to skin you.
Babylon 5 (Babylon 5)
FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files)
Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica)
Deep Space Nine (Star Trek)
Millennium Falcon (Star Wars)
Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda)
Bebop (Cowboy Bebop)
Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix)
Enterprise D (Star Trek)
Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile II: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? (pics)
created with QuizFarm.com
|Sunday, October 15th, 2006|
|It got me too....the flu
I think i am getting sick. My heat hurts, i have a sore throught, and i am so tired. I might have the flu.
I just hope it goes away till the first November Weekwend. I need my voice then for a little filker weekend (calles FIS
= Filk in Straubenhardt).
Adding to this yesterday was a terrible day.
We had a roleplaying session with a friend and i think i just ruined his adventure a little bit with my charakter being
And everyone was asking me, to gamemaster again (i've been on vacation as GM since march, after being the only Gamemaster
for several years and i wanted to be a player again).
Now i don't know what to do.
On the positiv side, i am thinking about going to my first Filkcon in England in February 2007.
I just don't know if there will be someone there that i know and how to get there.
So if anyone else is going please contact me.
That is all for now
|Monday, October 9th, 2006|
|Nemsi and the Movies
I am now the proud owner of my own Movie-Studio: Nemesith Productions.
Where did he get the money for such a thing. No i didn't win the 35 million Euro in the german Lotterie.
If i had won that much money, i would sponsor next years Filkcontinental :-)
No, last Friday i got myself a new game for my computer, called: The Movies.
In this game you are the manager of a hole Movie-Studio with all that it entails:
Hire Actors, Directors, Cast, Script writers and Maintenance workers. Build new Sets and research advancement in movie making.
You can let your scrip writers make scripts in 5 categories: Action, Comedy, Horror, Romance and Science Fiction.
You must look after your hole Studio and produce good movies to earn awards, keep your actors and directors Happy and make some profit.
You begin in the year 1920 and go on from there.
Over the course of the game you unlock new costumes, Sets, props and technologies to make better movies.
Later you can make your own movies totally by yourself within the game graphics.
My Studio doesn't do so well at the moment. One director and 2 actors already quit :-)
It is a good game, but can be a little frustrating sometime.
And i can be creative with it.
Hope you all have a good day
Nemesis Current Mood: cheerful
|Wednesday, October 4th, 2006|
|Wow....What a Con
Now that i had 24 hours to let it all sink in a little, here now a little Filkcontinental Report from me.
I witnessed a lot of great Filkcontinentals over the past six years since i am with you great people, but this was the best
All the spots were great and this time i was in all of them.
I really loved Talis Kimberleys Concert. She is such a great person in such a small package :-).
Unfortunately i didn't catch her for a proper farewell :-(
Sib, your Lord of the rings in 10 Minutes was hilarius (really great Stuff).
Lord Landless, and Lord Merciless and off course Lord Merciland were great.
Steve MacDonald was ..... he was Steve Macdonald (need i say more).
Myself, participating in the 10 years Filkcontinental together with Anke. I was glad that i wasn't seeing what Franklin
and Steven were doing behind us, because i think i couldn't hat kept a straight face.
And as Anke and i were singing in the main Concert, i was really nervous because we didn't had any kind of rehearsal before
but you liked it anyway.
But that is the great think with all you wonderful people. You keep on encouraging me to sing on even if i lack the confidence in me own abilities (Metoo said to me, that i hat greatly improved over the last years) and that is why i love you all :-).
The Party on Saturday was bloody brilliant. Steve and the Gang were rocking the castle and we hat a great time.
What else is there in my mind about the Con
Christine-The Guitar Slayer, just joking Christine :-).
To the people who were sleeping the same room with me, i apologize if i did snore to much *hugs*.
To the Con-Orga-Team: You did a great job.
Steve, thanks for playing the guitar for my Always a Bastard-Song.
It was a Fantastic Time on Freusburg
To Another 10 Years -- Wow....what a con
Nemesis Current Mood: happy
|Sunday, July 17th, 2005|
i am so happy that my copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (still think it`s a stupid title)
arrived just in time twelve a clock on Saturday.
And gues what i did since then. :-))))
I read the hole thing, doing nothing else. Only getting something to eat and some sleep.
I finished just an hour ago.
I realy loved it, but i don`t know if it i s better then any of the previous books or not.
Now i must read all the books again to be sertain. :-)
And i realy hope that we won`t have to wait to long for the next, and if i remember, last book.
And to all other readers, enjoy your readings.
And to my fellow hogwarts Houseband Members, keep my informed, if we still excist and if there are any new songs for me to sing with you wonderfull people.
P.S. HAs anyone a link or something for sewing Patterns for a hogwarts student wizard rope?
Nemsi Current Mood: energetic
|Friday, May 6th, 2005|
Finaly an Update by me.
How are you all doing. Nothing new from my Side except one thing:
Only 12 Days till STAR WARS-Episode 3 Revenge of the Sith!!!!
I have my ticket for the premier on May 17th, 20:30. And i can't wait to see it.
I was a little disapointed by the first new Movie (couldn't stand Jar Jar) and i think it was wrong to
show us Anakin as a little anoying kid but it was ok.
Episode 2 was better, and Natalie Portman was HOT :))))))
And after seeing the Teaser and the Trailer for Episode 3 i am feeling goosebombs crawling up my spine.
May be this time Lucas did it right (but most Trailer look good, but one can hope).
So who else will see the Movie and what are your expectations.
Nemesis "You were the Chosen One" Skywalker Current Mood: happy
|Thursday, October 7th, 2004|
|I am so depressed
i don´t know if this is interesting for anybody, but i just read in Salika's Livejournal that she will be leaving Germany for Italy sometimes within the next months and i feel Crushed.
I know that she won´t be out of my Life but right now i feel like losing a very good friend (wich i have so few off). Salika is the one person who made me interested in filking and through her i learned my first cords on the guitar. If it wern't for her i would still be only a geeky Star Wars Fan, which knows nothing else. But since i met her i met so many other people wich i like to call know Friends: Franklin, Sybille Nelladarren, Pug, Delennare and all the others. I don´t know where i would be now without her. She encouraged me to keep on singing and through her i stay in contact with Sybille and Nella. I don't know if i would ever had known about Filkcontinental or if i would on the Stage there.
And i don't know what will happening to my filking without her (she had good idea's for songs and texts for me, i am not as imaginativ as she is.
But i hope i will stay in contact with her and keep on filking with Sib, Nella and the rest of you.
Sorry, but i am so depressed at the moment.
Nemsi Current Mood: depressed
|Monday, October 4th, 2004|
Hi Friends, i am back from Filkcontitnental.
it had been a great Con, for me the greatest so far. I did things which i had never thought, i would do them. I sang Anna with Phil Allcock playing along, and i was the first time on stage with the Hoghwarts House Band. I was really afraid of that at first. But with lots of good words from Salika, sybille and nelladarren i decided to try it. That was before Filkcontinental.
Then as we were rehearsing for the main-concert someone had the idea that i should sing our second song "Always a bastard to me (text by Mariner)" alone on stage with nelladaren playing on the guitar.
There it was again, this terrifying feeling. But i thought o. K., lets do it.
Our first song , Snape`s Song from Salika was good, And then it was my turn alone. I think everybody saw, that i was really nervous the way my text was shaking in my Hand. All went well, until in (i think it was) the last part we were interrupted from that stupid Kitchen-Message (i really could have killed someone in that moment. Typical, that such a thing would happen to me).
But nelladarren and i handled it really good and sang the last part again. I must have been a little bit good, because the audiance seemed to like it. They even requested it again for the wish-concert, wich was something i never would have expected.
After my first Stage-experience i think, i would do it again. So Girls we should keep the Hogwarts House Band alive.
The other Filkers were great, i met a lot of people which i had missed for a long time. I really love to listen to all of your music. Phil , Alan, and Cosmic Trifle were great. Hope they come back next year. Many thanks for the Con-Comity you did a great job as always.
Speaking of next year, The guest of Honor will be Urban Tapestry, finally someone that even I know off.
So all in all it was a great experience this year, and i hope a can keep some of the self-esteem i got this weekend.
Your Nemesis Current Mood: energetic
|Tuesday, August 24th, 2004|
|Finaly an Update
Hi, i am back again.
It is the middle of the night and i can´t sleep. So i thaught, why not use the time to wright something in my livejournal.
Nothing important happend in my live the last month. I went to Funacon, but it wasn´t as great as usual because i hat the flu and realy didn´t feel so good.
I saw two good movies:
Spiderman 2, which i realy, realy liked (Doc Ock was cool)
I, Robot, which was great (I love Will Smith Movies) but hadn´t much in common with the Isaac Asimov (i hope i spelled it right) Books.
At the moment i am realy tired of my job but it´s only 3 weeks till i have my well deserved vacation.
Four Days ago i recieved the proposed programm for Filkcontinantel, and it is realy true now. I will take part in a spot there. I don´t know if i should be happy or terrorfied ( at the moment probably the later).
I am just glad that i have 3 great girls there with me (i realy mean it girls)
so i wont be all alone in the night (to much B5) :-)).
Well, we´ll see how it will work out.
Speaking of Filkcontinantel. I think this is my fourth or fifth but i still have the feeling sometimes, that i am more like an outsider there. I don´t know why. Maybe because they all know each other longer, or maybe because i am still new to all the filking.
i see all those great singers there and i feel so small in comparison and some times i realy don´t know if i am accepted or if i just bother them.
But i will try it again this year.
So thats all for now.
Have a good Day
|Tuesday, March 9th, 2004|
|Finaly an update
I know, I know, i haven´t made an entry for ages, but i promise to get better.
First of all, i am really sorry that i couldn´t make it to Swiggle, but i did catch a terrible cold, and my voice wasn´t really good for singing, except maybe some Rod Stewart or Brian Adams songs.
But know i am better again.
Last Wednesday was my 29 Birthday,and it was a quit one which was a good thing.
With al the craziness at work, thanks to our government, i am really thankful for some hours of silence.
I am beginning to think that i am better listener then a songwriter, i haven´t written a single song in 2 Years, but only time will tell.
And i really must begin to practice more often on my guitar.
At the moment i am trying to read through my new Dungeons and Dragons Corerules, and maybe trying to write a DnD Adventure.
I promise to write Updates more often, even if i have nothing important to write.
From Saarland with Love
|Tuesday, November 25th, 2003|
Today, life was good.
Work wasn´t as stressful as usual and i even had time to go swimming after
I saw a great Puzzle today, which i had to have. It is a picture of a Unicorn
and a mermaid at a lake and their reflections in the lake are showing them
as a normal horse and a girl. It is only 1000 pieces, so no real challenge.
But i really liked the picture.
I am still trying to practice playing on my guitar 15 Minutes a day.
But i am mainly practicing chord-changes and the 2 - 3 songs i know how to
If anyone has some good ideas for practices or some easy Filk songs they would be really welcomed.
So that´s it for today, have a good time
Nemsi Current Mood: happy
|Sunday, November 23rd, 2003|
This week wasn´t really good. After the great Swiggle i felt rather
depressed and mist all greatly (maybe i should hang around with them more often).
Work was terrible. All the noises seemed to be a 100 times louder than they
really were. The telephone in the office was constantly ringing, and every second call was for me, and i was again asking myself if i did choose the
right job (this question seams to come up more often from month to month).
But hey, one has to earn a living.
Every day i planed to play on Willow (salikas former now my new guitar),for at least an hour, but something always came up. So it was only 15 Minutes a day.
Then when the new movies started the week, i saw in the newspaper, that none of the 3 movies i wanted to see where playing in the town where i work:
Freddy vs. Jason (but i don´t expect many theaters to show this movie), Love actually (which i plan to see in english in a theater some 40 Kilometers away) and Finding Nemo.
But maybe one of them will come to town next week.
Then yesterday, a friend of mine was game-mastering a homebrewn roleplaying Game, which he calls Demon Wars. But even that wasn´t as good as usual.
Btw. can some tell me, where i can get the Stargate SG-1 Corerulebook, because i can´t find it on amazon. And maybe one who has it could tell me his opinion of it.
So that´s it for now, on to a new (better?) week.
Have a good time
Nemsi Current Mood: depressed
|Sunday, November 16th, 2003|
|Fun at Swiggle
today i came back from a great weekend.
Swiggle on Saturday at Salika was realy great. I had lots of opportunities to sing and to hang around with great friends (salika, sibylle, nelladarren, puggie, delennara, yes i mean you).
I also got a new guitare from Salika, which looks and sounds realy great. But maybe i will follow her advice and replace the metal strings.
Now i have a realy good reason to practice every day. Thanks again Salika.
Did someone mention something about a screaning of Love actualy? Maybe you could keep me informed.
So that´s all for now. Another week will beginn in a few hours and i am looking forward to the Lord of the rings The two Towers extendet Edition DVD.
Have a nice week
Nenmsi Current Mood: sleepy
|Wednesday, November 5th, 2003|
I finally made my first entry into my Live-journal. So now i can tell every one how boring my live is :-)
Do not expect many entry from me. Every one who has sent me E Mails will know, that i am very, very slow with responses. So you know what to expect for my Journal.
I had a fantastic weekend with many people, who i would like to call friends and i hope they feel the same about me. We filked a lot, though i was more listening then singing. I am still a little shy with singing but i promise to get better.
But after this weekend i was realy exhausted, and i don´t really know why.
Today i was in a movie theater watching MAtrix Revolutions and i realy liked it. I found it to be better then the second Matrix Movie and it had a lot of good moments, but i won´t spoil it for the rest of you who want to see it.
So that was my first Entry.
Have Fun and remember, The truth is out there